Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Honesty Pt1: False Pretenses


As I sat down to write this, it became larger than I first thought. So it'll be broken up into 3 parts. Stay tuned for parts 2 & 3.
Personal Honesty & Confidence in Christ
Part 1
                I believe there is more to honesty than simply not saying untruthful things. If that was all it was then the vast majority of us would be upright honest people. I mean, it’s fairly logical that if I say something untrue to cover my butt, it’s gonna start a whole mess of untruthful things that will pull me into a web of anxiety. So it’s just better to not to lie to anyone. Life would be much more simple and easy on the whole if everyone followed this idea.
                I’d say honesty is divided into two parts; honesty with our fellowman and honesty with ourselves…ok-there’s probably more ways to divide honesty than two ways, but for my purpose here let’s just keep it simple. I think honesty with others is pretty straight forward and do-able if we put some effort into it. But honesty with ourselves is a much more complicated affair. Accepting who and what we are can really suck sometimes. I mean, come on-who really wants to admit, or worse yet-accept- that they’re imperfect and fall short of almost every supposed social measuring device. Despite what we see on the outside most everyone feels like they come up short of something.
                This is especially true in Mormon culture where we go to church, seminary, mutual, relief society, priesthood and all other such functions where we hear about keeping commandments. We are constantly reminded of the Standard of Perfection. As I listen to all the things I have to do and I look around at all the people who seem to be doing such a good job at keeping all the commandments I tend to feel ‘spiritually small’. This is because I know all too well that I can’t do all these things all the time, and I know God knows I don’t do all these things all the time either. However, by outward appearances it seems like everyone else is doing loads better than me and I’m being passed in the Race of Life.
                As a result of these feelings and the natural urge we all have of wanting to fit in (which is another topic in itself that I will address); my life becomes about putting on the best show so that everyone around me thinks I’m perfect.  I’m not saying this is true of everyone, but it certainly goes through everyone’s heads.
Let’s be fair though; what’s the difference between pretending to keep the commandments perfectly and actually trying to keep the commandments perfectly? Outwardly-nothing; inwardly-everything. Therein lays the difference between an imperfect person and a hypocrite. And this is why we feel the way we do because it appears as though everyone is perfect or at least really close and certainly better than ourselves. I’m not inside their heads feeling their feelings and thinking their thoughts.
As I progress along the path of Pretended Perfection, the deeper and deeper my own lies to myself get. Unlike other people, I am inside my own head; I do think my thoughts and feel my feelings. I know full well that I do not measure up to the Standard of Perfection yet I still put off as though I do. This is dishonesty at its finest. Even if I don’t actually believe that I’m perfect but just act it for the sake of approval, it’s still dishonest. 
Now, if you haven’t felt any of these feelings you are either lying or are delusional. So let’s look at the other side of the coin of dishonesty with oneself.  Instead of feeling bad we aren’t perfect and putting on a façade of perfection, there’s the group of delusional self righteous suckers that actually believe they’re pretty darn close to perfection (this state of mind can also grow from the previously described False Pretense). Regrettably, I would put a past me into this category. I think for a long time I actually did hold onto the idea that I was closer to perfection, or at least better at keeping the commandments, than a lot of my peers. It’s true that Pride is the root of all evil and it’s certainly at the heart of this issue.

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